Hide and seek or never seek

Being honest to yourselfb and  that Brings real joy :D

I found myself to concentrate too much on how others might think of me
That sometimes somehow I am not myself anymore TT
Or maybe fear to show the real side of myself
Fear to displease someone
Fear to disappoint some
Sometimes what I did is just wanting to please people
Or perhaps afraid to lose someone
Maybe the biggest fear might be.. betrayal
==

And hiding can be so damn tiring
Worn out
Pretend to be fine
Pretend to be like a shield
刀枪不入
Argh
After esp camp I had a little better improvement though!!

We had known each other for five years and I remembered that day u told me
We have known each other for so long but I never really heard anything happened relate to u

Ya lo
Why ah
I don't know if this is a good thing or not
Am I too protective for my heart ah?!
And i think That leads me to be someone like that...

But
Thanks to esp la
No la actually is God hahahahha

If not I won't dare to post what I am  thinking right now

U can see my old blog style a word skip a word hahaha I don't even understand it now
Even I read back my diaries it was awful ==
U know the moment u have noone else to tell so u wrote it in your diary but u still have to hide this hide that because of insecurity
Sometimes I can feel I wasn't writing with my heart, I didn't mean what I wrote
just wrote it with my hand!

Actually after the camp I think I need to let go of this hiding habit
i wonder What am I hiding at all the times?!!!!!!
My own fears bah!!

And I find it could be really happy to have a place to express out without worrying anyone will read it
Because that doesn't matter much to me anymore
Or maybe still matters but not that important anymore lo !

In order to overcome fear
You need courage
Where does courage comes from?

God!

Have faith and be confident!

Goodnight!!!!