FHI

Today had the event job to go!
And it was my first time for the stress mental carnival
The PL is abit strict la make me so gimtio as she told me try not to speak Singlish hahahah
Ahhhhhh!

Anw, i was amused by the idea of one of the game, the grateful game!
The game was simple, just write down three things you are grateful for
Yeah and I saw most of the participators look at the grateful paper looked confused, duno what to write
And the faciliator explained it very well which i liked it so much
There's so much thing to be grateful for but we always overlooked it!
Okay, and she (okay actually is the purpose of the game) suggested those participators to keep a grateful journal which i think is pretty cool!
Most of the journals i wrote are actually fulled of super negative stuffs as the only time i feel like to write is when i want to rant or reflect or feeling negative
therefore! Having the idea of writing things that you are grateful for everyday sounds really cool! She said when u feel down or sad or negative, u can get to read back the grateful journal, and could charge back the positive energy again!
No need banyakbanyak, just one thing a day enough!
SOunds so cool!
although i am the one whose working and not the participators hahaha not 偷听 okay is she speak very loud

So i am going to start now!

What am i grateful for today ah..!
Oh, i am grateful for teojiaxian for helping me to buy things to eat since i was too lazy to move and go out although she dont know my english name even we stay in the same room for 4 months already haha, it's okay, i am really grateful for that!
And the shampoo u carried all the way!

Okay, i said thank you to her already
Maybe just have to constantly remember to be grateful!

Bye!

it's not really about the camp

my auntie(landlord) so funny keep on answering  美华 in 夜市人生

Ya basically she's talking to the tv screen
Besides, the back ground music is like so emotional, which is when 美华 try to reveal 小三, then uncle and auntie just laugh so loud i really dont know why

Lol hahaha

Anw! I am back from Rio camp!
It's my first time joining a non-church-camp which stayed for two nights !
It's in Pulau Ubin
And a member of the group described it as a God forsaken place hahaha which i think is 再适合不过

Okay,  it's actually okay la although when i am IN that camp i actually keep on asking myself why am I here why why why walking stupid paths under scorching hot sun if I knew it at first I will never come why why I come?!!
And there's super lot mosquitoes there, the leaders were looking like as if have chickenpox like that, grosssssss
I feel so sad for my legs and feet
as my knees recently already keep on produce "clark clark" sound then still walked for so long like more than 10 hours?!
It's like... putting salts in a too sweet milo!
Worsen the case!

But ...it's okay!
I still believe God let me to go this camp for a reason
Okay, it's not about the so-called challenges which was actually just plain tortured ( sorry leader...)
But walking together with random people was actually fun too la
Although sometimes I felt so uncomfortable for not able to talk too much
But at least I did talked to everyone, sui ran it's just random stuffs)
And also a girl named Constance she's told me in the first night she's literally a book worm in secondary school
But then 人不可貌相
She jing ran is super obsessed with Nicki Minaj's and she's like singing Anaconda all the time until now my head also got the shadow of that stupid pervert song

Even when she cried out OMG with a slower pace, I still wondering if she will continue say/sing/rap: "look at her butt"
LOL anaconda become her signature in my memory hahaa

Anw Seriously
i want to say one thing that i learned!
It's not about the physical stuffs, it's about the values and beliefs

i realised that,
Sometimes, people really need people
We need each other,
It's Not only to laugh, to talk to, to fool around, to be loved,
But also
To fall,
to learn,
And to GROW.

i just want to thank God for every opportunity He gave me
Thank God for He just always show me things which is good for me
I may not know what I need, but He knows everything

Thank You, not only with those people You let me knew and met around,
no matter is now or before or in future,

No matter who he/she is, when we met, just thank you

I realise I shouldn't be so grumby about the past, about the loss, about the pain? Aiyo I always thought my life will be much better if I dont have this dont have that experiences before

Why like this why like that apa ini wahlao

Sometimes when a sermon is taught, u cannot understand fully what is that but when u reflects back, u realize what is happening, it's true

He knows what you need better than you do

He knows!

Many times we are expecting to receive good things from others(caring, kindness,love.. etc)
But Sometimes,
It's not only about good or bad people you met,

It could be about gaining lessons too.

 Either in a good or bad way,it's still gaining!

Alright, you know, i feel that He is teaching me more and more stuffs which I have not experienced before here in another country (ahaha sounds far)

Just, I am grateful for the understandings You gave me, it meant alot for me.

Very late dy..

So i wish to end this in a more singapore way

God, thank you sia! :D

Group photo!

Phrrrrr

I am in Rio Camp!

And the leg breaking feeling is not much better than standing ten hours after watami

Travel for 6 hours by feet leh

I just wish I can stop stop stop my stupid habit of p
I hate myself doing something which is not myself!
And keep on feeling myself tiny and small
Why should I doing and feeling like that?
Hey!!
Just stop these stupid habits!

If this is suppose to be a test by God after that day
I dont think i could even passed

:(

Hahahaha
I am so happy today but i dont know why!
Keep on smiling and smiling like i cannot control my lips!

It scares me!
Hahahaha

Although am alone standing in mrt but...
I'm feelin so fly like a G6~

Opps, stomach ache and let out a 无声凶器out of my control!!
Wahahahaha 动感光波!!

Btw i am heading to Velocity, it sounds so physics!
My gosh, feel like going to berak

Another very pekcek reflection

真的很讨厌比较
好累人

可是却一直不自觉地。。

厉害的比不起
是不是就要和比较低的比才可以比出个要知足的道理

小时候羡慕人家有钱
妈妈就会拿非洲难民来比

是不是因为这样才可以衬托自己很富裕

其实这样的比较是不是很不健康
被比下去的人会怎么想 好受么

比一定要有个高低嘛
那如果有一天
你是那个被拿来做知足常乐的例子
刚好还是那个比较低等的例子

你会怎么想？

比比比
跟比你烂的比
是要培养感恩知足的心态呢
还是要喂饱自己饥饿的虚荣心？

跟比你厉害的比
是叫所谓的进取心、上进心呢
还是要加深自己的妒忌心？

世界是个大大的平衡秤
（虽然原来也许是平衡的）
为了害怕不被比下去
就要努力 很努力地跑 差不多要飞的这样跟着世界跑
好像 真的蛮累的

小时候只是比成绩
可是越大拥有越多
太多东西好比了！

是不是只有比到最后
只能悟出一个大道理
“人比人 气死人”
供后人参考

为什么要一直比 TT
是因为世俗的影响 ？
从小被灌输的kiasu观？？
还是心理作祟？？？

算了 是什么原因也许并不太重要
世界、别人 把你往平衡秤上放 也不是你能控制的事

但第三点
心理作用 自己的想法
却是可以seek help from God, 可以pray,
可以改变的！
娃哈哈！

最最最最重要的是！

你必须知道自己在做什么
:D

Goal

目标如果不对 那你做的事情也可能不对
这么简单的道理! 酱也不懂！

If whatever you wish for is to feed your own ugly nature
Whatever the goal is
You won't be happy even if you have it

What is your goal?
What is my goal?

What do you want to be in the future?

Somebody asked me this long long ago, I still remember I felt so sad when she denied my goal

"just live this life happily and joyfully!"

She said , yaya, but i am asking about your ambition
I really dont know ma back then and i said dont know,
"Its Okay"
But when others told her want to be doctor or what or lawyer and she said, good very good

For my ans, i only got an "okay" response
Hahaha bu fu qi u know
So the next and next time, i always cincai made up one ambition which i tot i like to be

Until today, I still think that no matter what you do, be glad and happy is the most important!

But dont know why, sometimes,you have everything that you thought you NEED in order to be happy
Still, you are not glad
Things went wrong

You thought you already have what you long wishing for
But you are not happy
Why?

Because everything u want is just to feed your own desire of superiority or sense of vanity

Something went wrong

The wrong idea of goal?
The wrong idea of what you really want?
Too shallow or too deep to examine?

Pastor Prince Sunday sermon was awesome!
He taught the story of the jesus's parable: the good samaritan, in a really different and unexpected way
"The guy who was robbed by thieves, lying half dead"
Alright, i really like the way he mentioned this
HALF DEAD
he said that the problem is, sometimes, even when people is already half dead,
broken hearts, broken dreams,
they have no idea that they are half dead,
They dont know, or they hides, or they thought they already healed,
but eventually their actions show
Negativity negativity negativity
People who hurts, hurts.

Actually it might seem no connections within the goal thing and pastor sermon

But I dont know whether is the goal relating to the half-dead or the another half

Wah finally reach bugis!
Want sign contract liao!

Okay, no conclusion, just... some self reflect

Byeee

“算了吧 就这样算了吧
该放就放 再想也没有用～”

OJE

Very beh song my hands and fingers and hair all 油烟味, even i already washed it so many times, but to no avail
Very tired and pekcek feel like ranting

Auntie macam really likes me alot leh
Make me feel so guilty of keep thinking want to move out...
TT actually what i want is just wifi, but there's nothing 100percent perfect
Room big got air con no wifi
Room tiny got air con got wifi
Room medium no air con got wifi
Room medium got air con go wifi cost sibeh high

But she keep mentions want my roommate to move
And asked me if she moves, will i? Lol...==
So ironic,
Actually the truth is, my roommate dont really feel like to move
And it's me who have a stronger will to move!

Ahhhh...
About moving,Just 听天由命好了!

Today i made my first record
Work for ten hours! Whoohoo
That means stand for ten hours!
Wahahaha and without screaming much “很累” hahaha
Because it's too busy u dont even have the time to rant =="
Is singapore restaurant not enough?
And now the legs feel like going to misfunction already
And got a very weird thing is that
My last meal is 3.30pm but i dont even feel hungry until 10pm!
Wahhh! This is too rare!
Just smelled my fingers... gosh ... ==

Suan le, just let it be

And just now read abit about the mystery of a Egypt mummy makes me feel I need to pray and sing hillsongs now
Cause imma alone tonight!
今晚的夜好孤单哦～！

Actually i really sibeh tired
But just want to make my fingers busy because my whole body dont feel like to move

Btw, yesterday dreamed of Johnnie
And he's still as alive as a dog in my dream!
So cute xD
It's been more than one and a half year
I guess you are now having fun in your dogs' heaven right?
”NINI, 你要记得我 你不要走丢
快快找到天使在天堂给我们保佑“
Hehehehe  i very sure u already found yr angel since u are so smart
Erm actually Not really, but still, i know u will!

Tomorrow going to church!
Duno can wake up or not

Oh, actually today work in a different place and I feel quite happy today haha because I talked to alot of people and met an old friend!
In my workplace!

And i am still thinking, should I?
But until now, I think better not, as for good for both! :D

Goodnight!

太感动

我到家了！ 终于到家了！
TT

http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com/post/28557373623/everybody-was-told-to-make-a-funny-face-but-i

I tot i already got over TFIOS

Was planning to take a look at what bishan library has got!
Then saw a side of a thick big book
"This star won't go out"
I tot is what romance palia book but then the author name caught my attention
Esther Grace?
Esther?
Hahaha is not because of hocier of course u dont think too much

Is because i remembered John Green once claimed that he got an awesome friend named esther who got thyroid cancer and that's why he knows alot about it

he said he liked and likes her alot

Well, to my surprise this book is actually all about this girl who john green once mentioned
The introduction was made by him too
Was planning to just take a quick glance through the book
As i wasn't planning to be too emotional today lol
But sadly, at the end of the day, i made up my mind to let it be the first book i ever borrow in NLB library!

Unlike tfios, this is a true story and i couldn't help to relate it with tfios
The girl with the oxygen tank, water in her lung, tube inserted through her nostrils..
Tfios for me is just a story, but this is someone real, something really happened before
And everything about hazel appearance is described just like Esther!
No wonder john green can describe everything like it ever existed

Gosh,
It's such a complicated feelings mixing both things together
Fiction and non fiction

Alright, this book ruins my plan for the whole emotional idea
It's.... really touching
About Esther
About her passion
About Love

I havent read habis la but just feel very amazing of how i found this book and how it relates to tfios and how i being touched dao sob alittle in the library

But i really cannot forget a verse kind of quoted down by his father from the bible

'Love is stronger than death.'

john green was still angry at her death
And probably that's why, u could sense the 不爽 feels occasionally in tfios towards God

But not in this book

...

Cca还没有找 啊 算了
教会没找到有归属感的 是的
懒惰 没有心 啊～
有时候连去都懒惰 在家玩电脑 看戏
就为了不想坐来回两个小时的mrt+bus
算了
更不用说youth 了
Rockids 本来没想那么多很有信心要去的
结果姐姐跟我说你自己一个人去不是很奇怪 叫人陪你啦
可是要找谁 我很不想被拒绝哈哈==
就变得好懒惰
算了
钢琴也interview到乱七八糟
可是却不可以放弃 还是要努力找找看 试试看
可能只是说说而已
不知道什么时候又 啊。。算了
Tcc太麻烦
要直接做那个店的 却还没有弄
没有达到要赚的钱 而且重点是差超远
原本可以赚的 因为懒惰 因为不想太“辛苦” 然后就这样随心所欲
迟到 就算被叫回家 就算要自己掏很贵的德士钱
还是我行我素
还是学不会
所以达不到要怪谁呢
好笑

还有。。
成绩不知道等下出了不知道。。

啊。。。。。。
其实也没有那么糟啦
只是有时候真的是懒到一个自己都受不了的程度
还整天发白日梦
太随心所欲

不懂要怎么办

有时候觉得很没用
为什么自制力那么烂
为什么什么都没做好
为什么那么没动力
为什么可以睡不醒就不要去做工
就算扣很多钱也在所不惜
为什么。。。
TT

咳。。 算了

明天要做工
不可以带这种复杂如屎的心情去
没有动力的话
请想想厨房里的帅哥 哈哈哈哈哈
Okay,如果他没有来怎么办 太不可靠了。。
那。。。请想想那些时间会赚来的钱！

这种心情
就留在今天好了

其实今天也过得蛮开心的啦！
哈哈哈 跟传说中的Ahma相会！
别吃醋呀某人 xD

只是 夜深人静之时往往叫人想很多呀

好吧！ 不可以带到早上哦！
晚安！

很想把所有东西都做好
可是却都做不好

懒惰 怕累 不努力
一直妄想会心想事成

可是 什么都没有达到。

当你发现你再也不那么重要的时候。。。

鸭子

小时候就只是觉得好玩
没想到这传统会带来这样的温馨

很开心很窝心！
哈哈哈

谢谢何琪琪
我的青菜对不起啊
会补偿的！
可是贝壳有加分吧？！ xD

俗话说日久见人心
这日久一拖可以是个好几年
越久越见澈呀！

18岁了 好快啊 我们已经是那种会有认识10+年的朋友的人了耶！✌️
“我认识她13年了”
听起来真的好像我妈才适合说的
哈哈


#眼睛揉到红肿不敢睡怕明天很丑可是五点要起来
还是要晚安！

This is not the end this is not the beginning

Saturday
Throwing a tantrum when u feel like on pms but u are not on a period!

Emotional...Restless...Negative...

And start to realize
the journey is still on
no matter what, we still gonna run
Running out, running through, running past and running in again

And i am tired of it.

原来睡不着可能是IQ高哦哈哈

有时候很有信心可以上大学
有时候觉得希望渺茫

成绩什么时候出！
很害怕

很害怕付出没有结果
很害怕失望

有时候
真正的恐惧并不是单单害怕墙壁上那可恶的怪物那么简单
而是因为胆小、懦弱
害怕被拒绝 害怕被看不起
害怕失去 害怕累赘
害怕孤单 害怕别人的眼光
害怕心碎 害怕难过 害怕睡不着

以为避开 逃避 就什么都没事

但很多东西没有办法决定会不会发生
就算多害怕 该学的还是会来

只可以问问自己
因为恐惧 因为害怕
而失去了应有的信念、原则、甚至是对自己非常珍贵的事物
你有得到你想要的吗？
那。。值得吗？

Who do u think u are?
Running round leaving scars?!

为什么要这样
是无知还是装不知
还是自以为是地觉得你的垃圾像纳米酱小粒
你眼睛长牛屎吗
那么大袋一个黑垃圾袋
我看你眼睛那么有问题 不会直接挖了煲汤喝算了
反正都废了

真的不知道你丢那瓶可口可乐还是保丽龙在的时候到底是安什么心？
虽然已差不多狼心狗肺
但请你摸一摸你仅剩那寥寥无几的良心啦
你不惭愧吗？
那么干净的大海 洁白的沙滩
什么都没有 你为什么 到底为什么舍得这样随手一丢 然后当什么看不见？
为什么！？！

而且人家海龟是要来下蛋的勒
你难道没听过动物吃了是会死的
海水污染了珊瑚活不下去
你吃了污染的鱼是会有病的
你脑袋已经不是单单进水那么简单吧？

本来从来没看过死掉的珊瑚
可是现在知道
原来干干的 那看起来很悲哀
是不是如果没有人发掘那岛
珊瑚就还活着

浮潜到一半 就会偶尔看到埋在海底的plastic
其实那里的水真的sibeh干净
至少是看过最干净的
可是就是因为很干净 所以更纳闷很不明白 为什么这样干净的海
你舍得这样乱丢？！

而且什么wa gor都有
导游还跟我们说：很累吗？那里有个枕头可以拿去睡

一直这样想
然后忍不住问导游为什么那么多垃圾
他讲 其实大多数都是海上漂到这里来的
。。。。。。
唉 有没有一种降头 是下给那些乱丢垃圾的人
丢一次垃圾 中一次降头
酱就没有人敢丢了
TT

人家鱼家珊湖家。。etc活得好好的
你凭什么去打扰
想一下啦要是有外星人从天空降一大堆肮脏pepsi瓶 plastic bag对准你家这样哗啦哗啦下来你会怎样
应该就可以体会鱼和珊瑚那般无奈吧

很suagu

6.15am

Hello this is so early!! I dont even know can i get to rush back to gelang patah :(

Hmph

Very tired and i am wearing pyjamas in mrt hahaha i thought tak ada banyak orang so early and i am terribly wrong

And then i got to haolian this

Because seriously i always think food in Singapore is awful, expensive and nothing to compare to hometown food!

Even if is really nice, the price also damn super nice lo, and if the price is directly proportional to the food, it's not even worth !

Hmph

But then ytd CU and her friend brought me to a place, quite famous in singapore but i never heard before

then the egg benedict was so.......... TT

freaking super duper DELICIOUS!! 

Although the price is abit too over for me la but since got cu .. haha and it's really....wahhh~

And i have not eat anything since last evening!

现在想到就。。。

0

很饿。。。

Quote of the cafe:

"The wilder the honey, the sweeter the honey."

so can guess the shop name:

WILD HONEY!

Idk about others but European style 

真的好好吃

If next time u happen to be in orchard mandarin gallery 

一定要去哦～

And then Vichelle jiejie

Thank you for telling me Alot of things which i suaguly duno Haha

And also CU for paying haha

Banyak orang saw my pyjamas look sia...

Hope to reach home ASAP!!

(昨天写的）

tcc经济人都不应我也！
太过分了

Btw hahaha
今天是秋秋的生日！
虽然没什么大庆典 大惊喜 大礼物
但是大家一起从早到晚窝一块很温馨

很喜欢在一起没有什么压力
不用想太多

哈哈 想讲话就讲 不想就安静

有那种寿星请客的传统啊。。真是不好意思哈哈

Chopin 和 牛顿

秋秋！

satu asia!

本来很喜欢这个 可是看久了好像要准备跳海这样

很美啊！！！

就这样 ！

生日祝福给你：

希望你快和你房东和解吧！

:D