Little wonders

Due to the request of stupid ho Cier
Haha no la

God hor
So good a

That day hor, I locked my keys inside my car again, ya again.. The third time in this month.. Grr

Outside ho Cier house hahaha

Then I thought I can easily opened my Lao ya kancil car door with a ruler
But I kiao here kiao there (kiao is just some noise in case you don't know hehe)
Nothing happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the most importantly is... we both super looked like 偷车贼
TT

I felt quite worried actually
My mum got spare key, but I sure kena one so the stubborn part of me make me insisting to open the car door by an iron ruler
TT

And It was 8.30pm something...
So dark.. So cold... So hungry...so... Stupid.. Lol
We even Google search.. But to no avail .. O.o

Don't know what to do I very tired also after working TT

JUST THEN! a very suspicious car stopped in front of us
A suspicious looking uncle got down and Jing ran walk to us
So scary, in a Malaysia night
Anything could probably happen
To we two 弱女子…

He then asked a few questions
Saying that that car he drove wasn't his, then we started to wonder was he the real car stealer?! Oh dear ==
He even ask us to shhhh when we both start talking

so Kong bu lo
Like he did something wrong don't want people to find out
Got scare Dao because of his look and actions

Suddenly he said your carkeys locked inside har
I said ya
Jie er once in a lifetime cleverly ask him
Are you a foreman?
He said YES!! I HELP U TAKE
Within 15 seconds my car door was opened!!!! Yeahhhh!!!!

Wowww surprise!!!!!!

Walao so unexpected aha
A foreman appear out of nowhere to help us

It could be just some neighbors
Or a criminal (biggest probability in Malaysia)
Or a foreigner ask for directions

Why so coincidence to be a foreman!!

I felt such strong feelings that he was sent by God haha
Because he shouldn't be appearing that time
He told us that car should be sent back during afternoon but he couldn't find the house
So he was there again that night
And then appear to be no one out in the neighbourhood only we two girls look as if like stealing a red kancil
So he could only ask us

But I still don't understand why he call us to shh ....

Okay
Aiya not 当事人 cannot imagine the happiness and 'surprisenesss' of mine!

Yeah! Gift fell down from heaven!
End of the story!
Hahaha

(This was actually written at 19th Jan) haha

Have in mind

哦 我要讲
Today bro. Ryan sharing
So nice!!!
It's what I longed to hear !!!
HUMILITY
And answered almost all my questions before
Ask yourself first everytime before presenting anything
Always do for a good humble reason
Not easy leh!!!!!

anw, i Love it!
Thanks Ryan!
Reflections!!

Yeah a lot of times our self troubles came from our pride
So I was wondering, was that because of my pride either?
Maybe.... Kind of hor...

Getting-Attention and pride and humility
Actually links!

And banana was right
Hope she went through that thoroughly one day
I don't know

But I like what she told me

Yes, often we might really making stupid problems out of nothing just because we are damn too comfortable
Forget to be thankful for good things happened to us

And also Shiki's post reminds me of what pastor Sebastian said before too
The Tent!
living in such small small tent make us magnify things and matters
And making sorrow and sadness out of nothing
All because we have nothing better to do

Like what pastor Sebastian said,
One shall be bold to walk out from the tent
Because God already prepared something big for us, waiting for us to walk out

Why sitting in your own small world Valilichang?!

Hmm?
And thought sky is only that tiny little piece when looking from the bottom of the well

Thou shall not be that narrow minded again!!!!

Pontian is just too nice and cosy and secure
I've never been away from this comfortable life before

But realizing I might going to experience something different very sooon
Not that comfortable anymore
I don't know if that can be said as walking out from the tent (lol maybe walking into bigger tent)
But I will try to figure out what's God have in mind for me
And one day hopefully get to walk out from the tent bravely

Okay la conclude
Don't ever be trapped in your own small well
Don't be narrow minded
And always always always
Trust God.

Ya, don't let the worldly standards take u away from Him
real life is really not that same as life in esp but deep in my heart I hope I will always remember what happened in the esp

Trust Him!!!!
Just trust Him!!!!!!!! Heehe

A picture of a status of Nana which I couldn't agree more haha hehe huhu hoho

NONONO

lol my house CU so cute haha

her blog so cute :DDD

hahahahhaa although in reality she sometimes very....qianda

and never pay attention to what I said grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

nevermind, still cute and I think she probably wont read this haha





haiya .... I want to say

Sorry, I lied

The truth is I had a lot of things in my heart.. to tell you maybe

but I really really don't know how to tell you


I guess I am returning to my small dark site again as you said before

where I hold everything in my belly
( that's why my stomach seems larger and larger xD )

... Lol, what to do? I don't know.

I blamed my brain for being stupid blamed my mum my dad for being special blamed this blamed that

but do blaming helps???????? complaining doesn't help AT ALL

no improvement but only helps hatred to grow

I have not becoming better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I don't want to be like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when can I get rid of that?!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been 3 years more!!!!!!!!!!!


I shall depend on God more

I shall be confident and have more faith in Him

I shall know my values in Him

I shall not being distract away by stupid worldly matters or stupid desire

I shall overcome this

I shall put this as my resolution for this year!!!

Jiayouuuuuu :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD




But

Fear eats me up

Insecure as usual

arghhhh

Am I going to lose ?

:(





OK NOOOOO

This is just a process hey

a processs okay???

process :(


PTI fast fast fast fast fast comeeeeeee

我说很多人被sins捆绑着

才发现....

讲人讲自己

SORRY LORD...

I need strength....from You

做贼的喊抓贼

So horrible!!!

原来所谓的洗脑是这样

超级恐怖的

还好我是去了esp后才看到

不然我一定乱死

因为它所讲的符合以前我所想的一样

完全一样! 天啊

原来蒙蔽是那么回事

超高明

处处陷阱啊

怎么可以

不要放弃 是真的 你才是假的

因为经历过

什么Comfortable???

Sarah 那天还告诉我们要endure hardship

原来他们会利用你的弱点来攻击你

完全跟我昨天看的戏一样(legion)

首先是蒙骗 再来是攻击弱点

人生如戏 戏如人生啊

看了很担心！！！！

想到我们周围的很多东西都开始有关联了

看起来好像没什么

但其实慢慢在影响

我之前还以为只是我心里作用

可能没有那么复杂

是咯  想将多做么 开心就好

可是看了刚刚的文章 也太巧了吧

怎么可能是巧合 怎么可能

要怎样不相信那么恐怖的存在

我只是想说

要睁开眼睛看清楚 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 很多很多陷阱

做什么都要有一定的了解才去做

不要盲目啊

Keep your a eyes open!!

STRENGTHHHHHHH

Love

This world is too bloody and old

and I am such a tiny little weak branch

How am I going to live without my big tree trunk?

No matter big or small matters
痛苦都是最真的

And I used to
try to be strong
Try To stand alone
Try to depend on myself!!

I thought I can!!
Yes I can of course
We are always stronger than we thought!

I became stronger as what people define as learned not to cry
Learned how to ignore
Learned how to deal with it
Wow
Yes learning was always challenging!!

But the hurtful memories haunts in an unusual way
后遗症
For me la it's like I started to build walls
Started to feel numb
And Never ever believed anything
And this doesn't made me a happier person either
Argh

Ya lo i always thought Time will 'flush out' a lot of things
But the 后遗症 really last damn long
一点一点累积下来的
And it's so damn hard to get rid of it

I dont want to grow up like this, don't want TT

So I seek tree trunk when I had nothing else
He hugged and bring me back to His arms
Yet I was stubborn, I refuse
I chose not to believe
I thought that's all my imagination

But He's more amazing than what I thought
His power came, fiercely smashed me and broke things down
How can I choose not to believe
I had to believe

I do have a choice
But if I choose not to believe
Then I am lying to myself !!!!

And I hope so badly u might feel the same
Because it 's never the same again
Because I treasure you so much
And i love you!!!!
Plus.. I really understand how u felt now
Don't depend on worldly things
They fade away!!
靠山山会倒 靠人人会跑
靠自己会有后遗症!
Hahaha

The most important thing in this world is love
And it can be grouped into many
Including That typical type of 'love' most people is crazy about
And Friend's love,
family's' love.....

Most of the time
People never had enough of it
People are hunger for it
So they search for it from different sources

But tree trunk is the real source of love
He will filled the the emptiness
The part which never can be fulfilled in real world and life
How will they see and understand?

saying about these kind of things

Just shared to someone about this
But no, that 'someone' Don't understand and I kinda feel sad
Ya bo bian also.. That 'someone' doesn't understand!!!
i also very wish not to say but Whenever I see the problems you faced
I always think of God you tahu ke tak?!
How will you understand?
He is there , the real source of everything
Whatever you're lack of can find in Him
All you have to do is stop being stubborn and believe

Maybe one day you will understand
Hopefully..
I so hope u can feel Him!! Then u understand how I felt!!!!! Oh yeah!!!

Oh !!!And if I saw someone wrote these type of things I will judge that guy as very christian and holy
But don't judge me as that so stressful!
I say so because
I can see the expectations in people after the camp!!!!!!!
I really scare of letting people down
And now
I don't want because of scare to let people down and not being who I am
As I don't want to live in people's expectation either

But only God's!
I am on the journey like everyone else!!!!!!!!
Don't think too muchd!
Just to prevent from letting yourself down.. Hehe
I am still imperfect and have plenty of flaws and will feel sad and stress!!

I just try to share what I feel about it!!!!

Especially after the conversation just now...
I was quite serious about it though u might not think the same!!!!

Never mind!!!
I will pray for every single one of you
Because I do care so much about you TT

Just if you ever feel so down and weary
Please remember
The big tree trunk,
God is there !!!

U might think this is palia or very 烦  whatever it's okay because I used to think that also before lol
Or perhaps brainwashing ?!
Okay I do wish I had that power!!
Although i think Christianity is not brainwashing
But It really still did some washing too!!
Yeah, and it's HEARTWASHING!!!!
XD

Photo from Eric insta!

你到底要我怎样

为什么做什么都不对

你要我怎样你跟我讲啦

跟我讲

讲!