it's been a long while since I updated my blog ever since I started to use instagram to record 一些小心得
okay, I have a niece now, sometimes I like to guess what she is thinking
Since a lot of things are first time for her, she gets the first hand experience to the world
How she sees the world might be very different from "adult" like us.
She can't speak yet, and might not understand fully with our verbal expression yet,
so her view is more original, more unrefined than us.
I read today somewhere that "小孩子的世界是快乐的，因为他们每天都接触不同的事"
yeah I kind of agree with that statement.
Everything is new and special to them. But if you constantly show her something, she gets bored too. Like how she used to laugh to the song "一只哈巴狗”, now she don't really feel impressed by that song anymore.
I guess it's human nature to lose interest in something after repeating it for times.
After we stepped into primary school, everyday is kind of the same to us. Eventually, we lose interest in the everyday life. Then comes in the influence of social media. We are spoon fed by instant happiness or excitement that social media or games brings to us, maybe partly because things are always changing in that "world".
I was a little sien today because of some little personal issue with people??
And it just feels so empty staying alone in my room, but I do not want to hang out with anyone, it's a dilemma, you kind of just want to be alone but then you feel lonely.
And previously few days ago, I listened to cai kang yong qing shang ke and li ke tai tai, sometimes quotes that you have heard or seen just pop out of your mind.
I remembered cky talked about 空虚,花手机，不愿面对，拖延 blah blah blah
so I just stopped youtubing and started to work out
but still, no, it doesn't help. I think I need to go out for a jog and a walk
So I went to my favourite place which is just behind where I stay.
蓝天青树and jog and walk for a while alone. It is the best time of my day, actually always the best moment in my period in NUS until now.
The sky, the trees, everything is so amazing. I never notice the variation of the tree bark until I start to tell myself of not thinking anything, about anyone, just focus AT THAT MOMENT.
Simple things like tree barks, can be so amusing. I think bibao will agree on me with that. Because it's really pretty.
And I realize they are like our dead skin, they dropped and left a smoother surface on the trunk.
Every single tree has different tree bark pattern, a little bit of red spot, white spot, grey spot, here and there. Some trees look whiter, some darker, some look like they have "aging spot", some got red spot and if to resemblance to a human being, i would say it is just like it has freckles all over the place..
They are so neatly arranged by the road side, so I start to wonder if they are friends? or family? (Since they are same species)
Or do they have discrimination towards each other? or do they have things like "white privilege", racism based on colors, despise ugly trunks, or do they even have the same aesthetic value like us??
After thinking all these "crazy or rubbish idea(0 financial value)", I feel so refresh kekekke
I just feel so happy to just be here and alive. and thankful for all these creation by God (or whoever third powerful party you believe in)
It's just so wonderful, they are so humble yet significant creation, and overlooked by me all the time.
The leaf colors have different shades of green, and it was shiny when the sunshine falls on them.
The sky are super blue and white clouds all over, I think blue and green of the nature are the best match.
Then I walked into a small garden with water feature just by the roadside, yet its the first time I spotted it although I have been walking to and fro for so many times!!!
How could I????
There is noone there, but somehow my legs just got attracted to the place.. So I walked in and I startled a monitor lizard, and it scared me back lol
First time I was so close to a monitor lizard!!! But I got no phone with me to capture that moment urghhhh!!!!!!!!
The monitor lizard was huge and slide away while shaking its booty. hmm, scary and cute at the same time.
Then I just try to spot some fishes inside the pond and then go back to my room start to write down
how I feel right at that moment.
There's NOT a lot of moment like this, where you just stay with yourself with no distraction, appreciate things and feel grateful. Maybe last time I feel this was probably during my Bali trip!!
Because most of the time, just drowning with negativity.... (快乐的笨珍时光除外）
so just in case, whenever I feel sad or depress i can read back again. Sometimes later.
And wish my niece can retain her curiosity to the world, because it's our nature, but Somehow Somewhere Sometime Someday, it disappeared???
then, boredom to death.
and actually, it's true for what I read earlier in the morning, that everyday is different, even slightest different is different. It's different in many ways, just I don't see it.
So have to add in one more reminder for myself.
and off for dinner.
and... and... and..用英文真的好难表达 hehehhe but cannot la i must practice a bit lo
