汪汪

很多事再也回不到从前

因为人生就是一直在变来变去

在很多很多个漫漫长夜里

其实我发现我需要的

是一只狗

War

我怎么能那么没用

一个小小的东西都可以做一个晚上

只要一开学遍体凌伤的季节又来了

从小到大从来没有受过这种压力

我真的是太看得起自己才会把自己搞来来这里吧

谦虚 包容 努力 乐观 ？what? Where? 

然而现在连自己的account 都不安全了

谁等着看你过得不好

谁又以为你过得很好

谁等着拿你来比较

谁？

你自己何尝也不是呢？！

冰山一角的另一边

是你永远看不到的黑暗

别人娇滴温室又与你有何关系

没心情也真的没力气去消耗无关紧要的事

很累 很累 很累 又有谁可以信得过

每一天都是一场战争

只希望我的身体plus 心理挺得过去

走到这里

还是要感谢很多人与事 感谢黄明志的歌的力量 (yes some are idiotic still can’t admit some are powerful songs)

Year 2 sem 1 Week four, eight more weeks to go 

As for life? I don’t know.

not the love yourself by jb

I just want to write something
why is it so hard to love yourself
why is it so hard to let go of the idea of somebody else
why is it just so hard to not compare yourself with someone else

why is it so difficult to truly love, every part of yourself,
be proud of yourself,
proud of your flaws,
proud of your looks, wrinkles that you hated, a nose that is round and big,
big forehead, pointy ears etc etc

I believe in the beauty within is more important,
I believe that your inner self can be the most powerful weapon to fight this world,
but it's broken inside,
everything outside is a lie,
Smiley face,
Hate and desperation inside
you dislike yourself
you feel unconfident, uncomfortable, stressed out by people's opinion
You need confirmation from others,
your happiness is dependent on someone else,
is not from within

you need someone to love you in order to love yourself,
you need God, need parents, need a lover, need friends to love you before you can learn to love yourself
Isn't it should be the other way round?
It's blessed to have people to love you,
but what about yourself?
why are u hating yourself so much

all the hates, the discouragement, the disagreement comes from the outside,
it stays within
deeply

Love yourself first before you love others
小学道德教育教了  人要懂得自爱 先爱自己才懂得如何爱别人
It's not about self-indulgence, its the recognition and acceptance of your true-being


but it's so hard
how could it be any easier?

but whatever it happens
it's okay, 至少还有自己

illogical update but not entirely

It's been a while.

请允许我很随性地写
虽然星期五考英文 但我还是觉得母语比较好表达

今天 是Port folio Submission
就是这整个Semester 告一段落的日子

我的Tutor NSS, 能跟着他真的很荣幸
虽然有些日子快被他逼疯了
但真的学到很多
他刚才问我对他有什么Feedback
我真的没有什么怨言 但是很想说嗯...你偏心啊 哈哈
就他特别喜欢两个男生
可是对我们所有人都很好啦 尤其是每次One by one Feedback的时候
而且我很欣赏他对Architecture的热忱

 其实我没什么要说的
只是觉的好累 就随便更更

过了一年 我还是好累 好挫败
虽然比上个学期好很多
但我仍觉得自己很多不足之处
当然 我知道人不可能完美
只是觉得自己可以做得更好很多很多
因为很多时候 唉 不知道怎么说


而且突然觉得 "I am not enough" 这个东西
我觉得并不完全不好吧
要是觉得自己Enough 对于我而言 就不会有想改进的念头
Not enough 可以是推动力
但是往往Not enough 的主要来源都是因为互相攀比
比较很累 很累 很累 （像我现在这样）
但没了比较  知足真的长乐吗
知足确实快乐
可是温水煮青蛙 和 知足常乐 到底差别何在
像我这种一级懒人  我想我必须需要一个永远不够好的推动力
不然怎么知道自己可以多好？


是个再循环吧 一直觉得自己不够好 然后躲着安慰自己
recharge
然后再努力
I am not enough >> sad >> recharge >> continue to work hard
总好过赖在那里安于现状什么都不做吧
至少我现在目前的情况  还不适合做个安逸的兔子
为什么是兔子？我也不知道 也许答案就在”逸“这个字


 其实说起来很矛盾
不满足现状的我 又恰恰很希望时间停留在此
不希望父母老去 喜欢现在在乎的人都在身边的感觉
害怕太拼命去争取的同时会不小心遗忘了什么

？？？？
矛盾总是消耗精力的

还有一个令人特别羡慕NSS的地方就是
他好像老是精力充沛
双眼发亮
谈吐诚恳

让我总觉得我就是个死气沉沉的大妈
Life is so dull
怎么了怎么了

？？！


很想放刚才在巴士上我拍的一张自拍照
看了都不敢相信
我现在长这样！！！！！！

根本说40 都有人信

啊啦啦啦啦啦啦



okay anyway

因为要recharge 所以带来风靡一时的“海草”全版
FULL VERSION真的很好听 听了整个超开心
是我赶工不想干了的时候的曼妙灵丹呀

okay whatsapp web connected

halooo yes 没什么目的 就是来吓你的  要死了的脸

好了我要去冲凉睡觉了

有一个男的站在对面的三楼进不去很可怜 哈哈哈


I will be okay!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't worry

<3 nbsp="" p="">

"人海啊 茫茫啊  随波逐流 浮浮沉沉
  人生啊 如梦啊 亲爱的你  在哪里”

THIS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON FEBRUARY 13

initially the last post was supposed to be posted on like last December but I have no idea why it wasn’t posted!!

I kind of settle down to this Uni life now

Away from the different world 相处不来 的 people

I am so grateful that I have like real and lovely friends that won’t bitch about people and most importantly GENUINE

It makes me feel so much less suffer to be here

And I am so DAMN grateful as well that we change studio this semester

IT COULDNT BE MUCH BETTER THAN THIS

Is like you realise I could actually make FRIENDS lo hahaha

Why am I posting in English because my English sucks here and everybody is kind of pro

I am so freaking tired right now but I need to express my gratitude as in everything became really well for me, is not like it’s easier, but I am really grateful to know good people , have good tutor, and most importantly!!!! Good studio matessss :)))